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Little Girl, Big Feelings

by Nico Co

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1.
Saw you today on your new bike lyin now in my new room With someone new, but my mind's lost in clotted thoughts of you When I saw you on your new bike in our old hood and I choked And you looked good in your helmet And I'm weeping like a willow And you hug me like an old friend And your calm, water smile And I wonder if it will ever feel like it's been a while You're so lovely, and so blue And oh, it hurts to look at you Cause I left you on your stoop And we bade our goodbyes Saw you today on your new bike tried to hold my heart intact We shared a moment and it passed Then I saw you on your new bike in our old hood and I choked Got a new life, and a new love, but your gaze was just so soft and slow And you held me like the ocean Like the moon that soothes the tides All a sudden it coursed through me, You, the cool breeze that just passed me by And I stumbled back to him with my heart awash with grief So I stayed inside our basement and avoided that street Saw you a while ago on your new bike lyin now in some new room There's always someone new, but that's the life I chose when I left you Still I can't help but remember us dancing in your room In our sunglasses and undies And you still spinning me All the sand dunes And the cold tents And your laughter in my ear Your soft eyelids under my lips And all over I'm in tears Cause I woke up in your arms And just cried Knew I'd leave you on your stoop And we'd bid our goodbyes.
2.
Beets 03:09
I wait for you here To be back With those groceries You promised me So I could make my favorite soup You said you’d bring Beets From our New York City streets But the Chinese grocers Know more about you Than I do now But why you gotta leave me alone With my paper thin hair And this bucket of bones I think I’m Better off dying alone I wait on your bed Trying to whisper sweet words Into your pillow Cause I want you to think about me When you rest tonight I put on my tights So I’d look my best Cause I need you to think you’d Miss me If i left Tonight But why you gotta leave me alone With my paper thin hair And this bucket of bones I think I’m Better off dying alone (Bridge) I’ve heard that love is all about Letting go of things you love with grace But i’m so bad at goodbyes I’d have us sink into the wall here Ify you’d only stay Youre back in the door And I can tell that theres no more The seasons over and theres no more beats you say to me You go to your room shut the door and I pick up your shoes And I go back to mine and try not to think about you But why you gotta leave me alone With my paper thin hair And this bucket of bones I think I’m Better off dying alone
3.
Emily 03:16
I moved out of the annex and in with a man Kept coming back just to see you Maybe already searching And anxiously lonely Lucky he wanted you too The dark in your softness The cloud in your gaze Haunting before we began There was always a pain in the curve of your smile Invited, I floated right in And the smell The smell of your neck in their old room And I'm deep under water Not caring I'm drowning Want to see you every day Back at home He wants answers, a sense of control But I'm back at the old place Embracing you wholly And hoping I'll know what to do Oh I cared and I loved you through rose-covered eyes And didn't consider red flags Just the taste of your thigh The nape of your neck Your curls, and the clutch of your hand Then you trapped me, or tried And to my own dismay, and to yours Life just isn't that fair I'm surviving without you And wonder about you with spite And a smite of despair And your smell The smell of your neck in their old room And you ripe like the blossoms Unfolding around me Unscathed by the hate in your voice And the creeping sensation of silent goodbye Last time you laid in my arms How you blossomed around me then Clutched back your hand Never to hold on again.
4.
I wish I could write you the song you deserve With pretty poetic phrases and big fancy words Something for you to get stuck in your head When you're working long shifts and your boss is a dick To get through the day, think of waking up in bed The sun creepin in and me kissing your head Squeezing you tight, saying 'baby, I love you, I love you!" The mole on your left cheek, the little gap between your teeth, I adore them Your hair when you wake up, that sticking straight-up, funny tuft I want you lyin next to me every morning You say you like my groovy hair And you don't care if I don't shave That you'll eat the food I make And you'd eat me out all day I want to nourish you Explore the world and flourish with you Cause baby, I simply adore you We could shake bangles in India, rattle some snakes Watch desert sunsets floating over our heads I'll f**k you under the stars On snow-white sand bars We'll make love in a tent And get sand up our butts Through the trees of Yoesemite, Thailand's lagoons, Himalayan mountains and Mexican dunes I'll be holding your hand And shout as loud as I can, "Hey baby, I love you, I love you!"
5.
Do you still love me when I'm far away All the way on the other side of Bathurst Do you still love me on the days when I slip on the cracks on the pave And my knees hurt What happens when I stop being new And cute And the things I say are honest And painfully true Will that finally scare you? Would you still love me when I'm losing my shit Snot down my face and my jeans ripped Will you still be here when you see who I am A naked and renegade mess I've never been so scared in a new love so fast I've just never hoped that something so perfect could last But what happens when cute things I do start to just plain annoy you And my baggage starts to visibly fill the whole room Will that finally scare you? Do you still love me when I'm far away All the way on the other side of Bathurst Cause I can't believe you could feel the same way But I guess they say love fucking hurts.
6.
Your sticky popsicle kisses melt like magic on my tongue So I tell you this by running across your chest with my fingers. Your laughter bubbles like orange crush when I kiss those lips of your I love Then you take my hand and I melt like an icy And I look at you towering above me and I think Oh my god, This can't be real Oh my god, There's so much sweet to feel You're grinning at me like the Cheshire Cat so I push you in the sand You're kind of a turd, but I really don't mind because you're doing the best you can And I'm a big mess today In complete disarray But you like me anyway I can't help but smile, it's been more than a while since I've been this blown away Oh my god, I'm numb with joy Oh my god, I think I've got it hard and heavy for my popsicle boy I wish that I could hold you and bring you to my gaze And show you how you've got me in this sticky, happy haze Oh my god, you're just so tender and so sweet You're good enough to eat! Oh my god Know, to me, you're becoming really dear and I hope you stick around for another popsicle year <3

about

Just a litol girl with v big feelings.

A random collection of some of the songs I've written over the past ten years. Each song is here by special request so if you know who you are, GOOD JOB IT'S HERE JUST FOR YOU MY FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER. Enjoy it for your ears! Cause you know that I won't sing... UNLESS YA MAKE ME! ;]

Every song is a rough-cut and unedited, so it's basically like I'm raw-dogging your ears, for better or worse.
"Hey yeah that's me in there (your ears), just getting comfy, don't mind me ;] Just sit back and relax while I pour all my feelings out into your tender little canals, shhhh don't worry you're in good hands bb sit back and enjoy" <3
Love, Nicole

credits

released November 6, 2019

All songs written and performed by MOI, Nicole Davis <3 All songs recorded by Tom Upjohn in his old apartment. Special thanks to all my friends and family who have been convincing me for the past ten years to record some of my music so this is really for you guys. All these songs are really about love, because what induces more feelings amirite? So shoutout to all of my lovers and partners, past and present. Every sweet kiss, and each traumatizing engagement, has given me so many big feelings and thus material! So thanks for all the good and the bad, you've all been a mixed bag of lessons and growth, and lots and lots of love.

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Nico Co Toronto, Ontario

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